Ask these questions while planning your wedding and planning your marriage. The largest chapter is about money... the leading cause of marital problems and breakups.

No Surprises... 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each Other Before You Marry... and how to ask them

by Andrea Reynolds
32 page
DIGITAL booklets 2 for $15.95
ISBN 0-9691057-3-8
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Free Bonus: With your order you'll also receive my 1450 word mini-book, Cheap Thrills: 65 Low-Cost, No-Cost Romantic Activity Ideas for Valentine's Day ($3.95 value) which is excerpted from my 90 page book, Let's Do Something... besides Dinner and a Movie. Do nothing; you'll receive it automatically.

This booklet was featured on the TV series,
"What I Like About You" The episode was "The Garden State" with Jennie Garth, Dan Cortese and Amanda Bynes.

Found on this page:

1. The Story Behind the Booklet
2. 6 Ways This Booklet is Different
3. 12 Ways You'll Benefit
4. 17 Sample Questions
5. Give as Gifts
6. Reader Mail
7. About the Author
8. Book Review
9. News Release
10. Interview Questions
11. Order Info
12. Quantity sales
13. Related Publications

Are you engaged to be married... or thinking about it?

As you near the date you plan to propose or as you plan your wedding you need to think also about your life as a married couple.

Do your values and expectations match? Will your marriage last or will yours be another divorce statistic?

"My booklet will help you be sure your marriage is based on mutual expectations"


The Story Behind the Booklet

This is the booklet I wish I'd had in my hand when I was teaching junior and senior high school classes on dating, when I was conducting seminars for single adults and before I married the man I did. This information didn't exist anywhere so I had to write it. Now it's supplemental reading in family studies programs. If you are planning to marry or know someone who is... read on. (Parents: I can even send copies to couples anonymously!)

When you believe you have found the ideal life partner, here are 365 questions to ensure you both have similar expectations of your life together once you exchange
wedding rings. Don't let your future marriage end in divorce because of "irreconcilable differences."

Order my 365 questions booklet and learn how to ask those questions to get true answers you can compare.

6 Ways this booklet is different from any other book of marriage questions...

1. This is the first marriage question book to appear in print, in 1993, inspired by a Phil Donahue show.

2. These questions are open-ended, non-judgmental questions which can't be answered with just a YES or NO. There are no wrong answers, just answers you hope you'll both agree on.

3. There are 365 questions, not just 100. That means you can ask two questions every day for 6 months which is the optimum engagement period.

4. For the same price as one of the competing books, you can receive TWO copies of No Surprises: 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each Other Before You Marry ... and how to ask them so you can answer the questions separately and compare them later.

5.You can also order the 3 page article I wrote which was published in Wedding Bells Magazine, 20 Questions You Need to Ask Each Other about Lovemaking and Romance. $5.00

6. Unlike the other authors, Andrea Reynolds earned a degree in Family Studies and has been a relationship expert for many years appearing on numerous national television programs.

12 Ways you'll benefit from No Surprises

• Learn more about the person you want to marry
• Base your decision to marry on knowledge and wisdom
• Reduce your chances of being a divorce statistic
• Uncover unrealistic expectations before it's too late
• Find out if you're marrying the right person
• Find out if you're marrying too soon
• Find out if you're mature enough for marriage
• Plan for the marriage... not just the wedding
• Establish good communication with your intended partner
• Find out what the potential conflicts are... before you say "I do."
• Avoid the heartache of being stood up at the altar
• Avoid the loss and suffering of a painful divorce

17 Sample Questions from the booklet for Newspaper or Magazine Editors:

You may publish any or all of the following 17 questions, but only if you provide my web site address as the only place where my booklet can be purchased. (Not available in stores.) Thanks.


1. Love & Romance What are the specific ways you prefer to show your love?

2. Wedding & Marriage What is your perception of the role of "Husband"? "Wife"?

3. Sex & Lovemaking At what times will we not have sexual relations?

4. Children What about your own childhood do you want to be different for our children?

5. Family & Friends If my aging parents become unable to care for themselves where will they live?

6. Money & Finances If we have to tighten our budget, what expenditures are you willing to give up?

7. Career & Work If I'm offered a terrific job which requires relocation to a city you dislike, what are your feelings about moving there with me?

8. Health & Illness If I were in an accident and became paralyzed, how would that change your feelings for me or your behavior?

9. Aging & Appearance What effect of aging would make me less attractive to you?

10. Values & Religion When do you believe it's OK to cheat on your income tax, pad an expense account, or do some creative wiring to get free cable TV or telephone calls?

11. Potential Conflicts If we have a big marital problem who will we look to for guidance and advice?

12. Fidelity & Infidelity Under what circumstances would it be OK with you if I had sex with other partners during our marriage?

13. Divorce What would cause you to leave our marriage . . . permanently or temporarily?

14. Past History Who is the past love that you still pine for?

15. Personal Preferences How long does it usually take you to make a decision?

16. Home Life What will the dinner scene be like in our home?

17. Leisure & Activities How many times a week will you go out alone or with buddies?

Order Now and receive 348 more questions

Give these booklets as gifts
1.  Give booklets to your pastor, priest, rabbi, minister to use in his/her work.

Donate booklets to your church, temple, school, and university libraries.

3.  Give
2 booklets to each of your single adult family members.

Tuck 2 booklets (one for each partner) into bridal shower gifts.

5.  Sell
booklets as a fund raiser for your church or singles group.  (quantity discounts available.)

Marriage counselors: give 2 booklets to each couple as a starting point for communication. Booklets can be customized with your firm's name and address.
Divorce lawyers:  give booklets to your clients who one day will be dating again.

Wedding services providers: give complimentary booklets to your customers. Booklets can be customized with your name and address.

Pastors, priests, rabbis:  provide booklets to the engaged couples you counsel before the ceremony.

Psychiatrists, psychologists:  provide booklets to the individuals you counsel. Booklets can be customized with your name and address.


Reader Mail
"Your interview/discussion on the Life Network was not only interesting but made a lot of sense.  My congratulations to the Life Network for an interesting, informative, and necessary program."
Sidney, British Columbia
"I saw your article in Wedding Bells magazine at my friend's house. I really enjoyed this article; if only I had thought of those questions before I married my ex-husband!!  I guarantee I would have saved myself a lot of agony. I am presently in a relationship and I plan on using these questions if we ever think about getting married."
Etobicoke, Ontario
"Congratulations on your televised discussion on how couples get married without dealing with the things that form the foundation of their relationship.  People often lose focus in the chaos of wedding preparation." 
Etobicoke, Ontario
"Recently you aired a programme [with] Andrea Reynolds. Needless to say I enjoyed it very much and learned much from it. Had I seen it years ago I would never have become involved in an abusive marriage, which resulted in my present, very complicated situation."
Agincourt, Ontario
"I am not engaged or even in a relationship at this time; however, a year ago I ended a three-year relationship that could have been a matrimonial disaster. I want to be prepared the next time I get involved with someone.  I think by discussing the simple things like banking and sleeping arrangements, etc., it will definitely help when the time comes to make that everlasting commitment."
Calgary, Alberta
"I saw you interviewed on T.V.  I have never heard those questions put before us so plainly and necessarily,  This book should be a must in schools, too."
Victoria, British Columbia

About the Author

Andrea Reynolds is a writer/broadcaster who has appeared as a guest expert on The Life Network: All You Can Be, Real Life, Just Ask; Dini Petty Show, and Breakfast Television.  She has hosted her own radio call-in show on relationships, introducing topics on date rape, safe sex, emotional abuse, rejection, and affairs.

Besides studying Marriage and Family Relations, psychology, communications, and education in 3 countries, Andrea has also trained as a crisis hot-line volunteer and has successfully handled suicide interventions.

In 1975, she began teaching classes on dating and relationships in junior and senior high schools, and later taught advanced programs for adults. She lectures through corporations, hospitals, conferences, universities and high schools; often speaking to men and women who have come out of empty, addictive, or abusive relationships and who have lacked healthy self-esteem. Psychologists, psychiatrists, and psychotherapists recommend her seminars and handbooks to their patients and clients.

A practical philosopher, she believes relationships require an entrepreneurial attitude: "If you want to find happiness with a loving partner, invest as much energy and creativity in each important relationship . . . including the one you have with yourself . . . as you do in your business or career."


Book Review reprinted with permission

No. 30, October 28, 1999
Copyright (c) 1999 by Benjamin Devey

No Surprises! 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each Other Before You Marry

The title pretty much sums up "No Surprises!" It is a straightforward list of--you guessed it--critical questions to ask before two people marry. This 32-page booklet covers 20 topics, including love & romance, sex & lovemaking, family & friends, money & finance, work & business, health & illness, aging & appearance, values & religion, fidelity, divorce and several others. Reynolds also gives helpful tips on discussing issues and withholding judgment to get to the truth.

Reynolds is a broadcaster and author who has appeared on television and has hosted her own call-in radio show on relationships. She gives seminars and lectures through institutions, businesses and conferences, focusing on relationship issues.

Reynolds' questions are open-ended, requiring thought rather than simple reply answers. They are intended to prompt discussion about attitudes and values, as well as uncover deceptions and indiscreet value systems.

Here are a
few questions from "No Surprises!":

Wedding & Marriage
-- What is your perception of the role of "husband"? "Wife"?

-- What about your own childhood do you want to be different for our children?

Potential Conflicts
-- If we have a big marital problem, who will we look to for guidance and advice?

Personal Preferences
-- How long does it usually take you to make a decision?

Reynolds' 365 questions are not fluffy, nor hurriedly dashed off on the way to the printer. They are thought provoking, often giving the reader a different perspective on an issue he had presumed settled in his own mind. Even when the reader squirms uncomfortably, the questions challenge lazy assumptions of ethical fortitude.

Reynolds' introduction gave me insights on the value of "No Surprises!" It's not just for dating and divorced singles, but it can help happily married couples discuss issues that can strengthen their understanding of each other. Its real value will depend on the reader's courage to confront real issues over romantic assumptions.

No Surprises! 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each Other Before You Marry" can be ordered from Andrea Reynolds. She is offering "Learning Love and Life" readers a special discount for orders placed before Nov. 30, 1999. She can be contacted by e-mail:

News release

Interviews: Andrea Reynolds, PHONE: (412) 440-3704

You've popped the question or said yes... are you sure you're marrying the right person?

When we're in love we assume that our partner has the same expectations about sharing life together that we do. Couples who don't take the time to discover if their partner's choices and expectations of marriage really match may be in for a rude awakening later on. Just ask someone who is divorced.

"You can get revealing answers by asking the right questions, in the right way," counsels Andrea Reynolds, former family studies teacher, broadcaster, and author of
No Surprises! 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each Other Before You Marry... and how to ask them, "but many new couples seem to be concerned more with wedding plans than marriage expectations. The 365 questions are designed to initiate deeper communication and emotional intimacy ... without putting either one on the defensive." Reynolds compiled the open-ended questions -- you can't answer just yes or no -- she wished she had asked before she married.

She tackles 19 powerful and difficult subjects -- money, values and religion, lovemaking, children, aging, death, infidelity, and even divorce. Over a 6 month engagement couples can ask 2 questions a day in their conversations. "But," she cautions, "you must listen to the answers... both your partner's and your own."

No Surprises!
is a thoughtful engagement or bridal shower gift, a resource for pre-marriage and marriage counseling, a teaching tool in marriage relations programs such as Kent State University's School of Human and Family Studies, a library donation, and a fund raising item. No Surprises has been featured on the sitcom, "What I Like About You."

Ask about quantity orders or license to reprint for use in classes, churches, or for fund raising campaigns. Paypal and credit cards are accepted.

- - - E N D - - -

- - - - - - Andrea Reynolds is available for interviews to discuss the rationale behind any questions. Suggested Interview Questions below.

A good talk show opener is:
Would you want to be asked 365 questions by the person you think you want to marry?

Suggested Interview Questions
1. Why 365 Questions?
2. How was Phil Donahue the catalyst for these questions?
3. Did you look at the experiences of people you knew when writing the questions?
4. Aren't you being too analytical? Isn't the feeling of love enough to guide and sustain couples?
5. Aren't you encouraging couples to cancel weddings and stay single?
6. Did or do you use these questions in your own life?
7. Why not create a checklist so people can just check YES or NO?
8. How long of an engagement period do you think is appropriate?
9. Who is the typical buyer of this question booklet? Parents?
10. Which are the most critical questions?
11. Why are some chapters long and some so short?
12. What if people are stumped by a question and can't figure out how to answer it? Where can they get an explanation or help?
13. Why do you sell two booklets together?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

US $15.95 for two PRINTED BOOKLETS

Use this PayPal payment button.

Quantity Sales

2 - 10 E-booklets: $8.00 each.
11 - 100 E-booklets: $7.00 each plus shipping
101 - 500 E-booklets: $5.00 each plus shipping
501 to 100,000 E-booklets: Ask for estimate.

Related publications
You may need this on the honeymoon: The Bed & Breakfast Guest Etiquette Quiz (mentioned in USA Today)

Please don't marry one of these: OutSmarting Sweetheart Swindlers: How to Protect Your Heart and Finances from Romantic Con Artists

Don't forget to date your spouse: Let's Do Something ...besides Dinner and a Movie Dating Activity Handbook

Make every day Valentine's Day Cheap Thrills: 65 No Cost, Low Cost Romantic Ideas for Valentine's Day


No Surprises:
365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each Other Before You Marry... and How to Ask Them Glossy oversize booklet, 2 for $15.95; PDF document now available (Questions about money is the largest chapter.)